I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
