i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
