I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
