dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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