Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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