I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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