my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
