They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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