Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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