i barfeds in our rink
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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