Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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