so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
