You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Randomize
