all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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