It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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