They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
