And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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