In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Couch. On fire.
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