Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Randomize
