he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize