i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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