I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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