Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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