I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
