yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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