So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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