I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
