And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
