you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
