she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
