we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
