i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
