where am i from again
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize
