you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
