is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He better not be in your backpack
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
