I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
