So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
He passed out mid-signature
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
