just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
