if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize