Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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