it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
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