As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
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