I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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