i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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