OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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