So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
