What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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