When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
