Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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