We're facebook friends in real life
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Randomize
