i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
