This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
