Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
dude i'm inner monologue high
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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