you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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