he puts the penis in happiness.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
