shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
