My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
