The brown eye won't let me do that either.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
